lost in the sauce

NEW BLOG: lesothopc.blogspot.com

2006-09-06T04:07:00.000-04:00

I've decided to create a new blog reserved for all things Peace Corps. I received an invitation five days ago from the PC to work as a secondary English, health, nutrition, and lifeskills teacher in Lesotho, Africa. Today I called and accepted the invitation.

This new adventure in the mountain kingdom will begin in November 2006 and last just over 27 months. During that time I hope to describe as best I can my experiences and opinions concerning the initial 3-month training period, the language (Sesotho), the people (Basotho), teaching, and traveling.

I really have no idea what to expect when I arrive; I anticipated going to Eastern Europe or Central Asia! But that's okay. My paperwork was turned in too late, but I am honestly more intrigued by Africa anyhow. I did have an African Politics class and studied two neighboring countries, South Africa and Namibia, extensively. Maybe that will come in handy. In the meantime I'll be reading up on the history and culture of the Basotho, the Sesotho language (it has 3 clicks for crying out loud!), and the AIDS epidemic.

check it out!

2006-09-01T02:56:00.000-04:00

I just wrote the best blog entry describing my 10 minute-old fantasy football team, but alas, the blogspot-spellcheck erased it. I'm pissed. you would have been impressed. I'm staying up tonight to watch the US play Greece at 3:30 live in the FIBA basketball championship. My invitation for the Peace Corps (ie where and when) is supposed to arrive tomorrow morning in the mail, so I'm pretty anxious. As much as I'd like to stay up, I'm tired and plan on falling asleep by halftime ..especially if it's a sucky game. more to come!

about the peace corps

2006-08-17T04:37:00.000-04:00

It’s very late (or early, depending on how you look at it), and I’m bored, so I’ve decided to write a blog entry. I went to sleep last night at 11, woke up at 1:30, lay in bed until 3, and have been awake ever since. I know why I couldn’t sleep. I’m excited about finding out where and when I will be going to work in the Peace Corps—I should be finding that out very soon, I hope—but even more than that, I’m anxious about leaving again, this time for 27 months, and I find myself constantly needing to justify to myself why it is that I want or wanted to go so badly. My best friends and family never really gave me much flak about it, because they know how I am—that it’s not just sheer boredom that’s driving me. It’s great to have their support, because this is a big deal for me, personally, and I’d have trouble going without at least their implicit consent.

The most obvious reasons why I am so anxious and why I consider this to be such a big deal concern the distance and the fact that this experience will last 27 months. Yeah, I’ve spent over two years in Germany, but having studied German for 6 years prior to going, I was in my comfort zone there soon after I arrived. When my aunts and uncles visited me in Germany in March and took me to France for two days, I was definitely not in my comfort zone, and I know that this is going to be 50x worse. The 12 countries where they could send me are: Albania, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Krgyrz Republic (I don’t even know how to pronounce that), Macedonia, Moldova, Romania, Turkmenistan, or Ukraine. My best bet would probably be an assignment in a Russian-speaking part of the Ukraine since I studied Russian in college, but even so, there’s no guarantee that they’d send me there, and I only remember how to say, like, 6 words in Russian.

And about those 27-months.. that’s going to be really tough. Every other time I went away, I knew that I would be home within a year, so I was never too home-sick. During the 27-months I might only be able to make it home for my brother’s wedding, and it scares the bejesus out of me that some sort of family emergency could occur, and I’d be in bumfuck kyrgryrzyryzryrzzryr. [Spellcheck is informing me that I might have meant to type “jumbuck” instead of bumfuck. I looked up the word on merriamwebster.com, but apparently it’s only to be found in the unabridged version. shame] I joke, but I worry more than anything else about how horrible it would be if somebody got hurt or died while I was away.

Another thing that scares me about doing this is that the experience could somehow make me a broken, dysfunctional person. For instance, I’d come home and be incapable of communicating with anyone (I already suck at it), and then I’d go and live in a dirty shack without electricity or plumbing like Ted Kaczynski, all the while bitching and moaning about how the United States is egregiously screwing the rest of the world. That’s a worse-case-scenario, for sure, but I do know that I would fall out of touch again with some of my friends, not because I want to, but because, that’s what happens when you leave. The most frustrating thing about being home now is the communication gap which has grown between my friends, family, and I, where catching-up is too much like small-talk, and talking about my experiences teaching in Germany is difficult, because people seem too annoyed or disinterested. Even my mom, God love her, wasn’t really aware of what I was doing in Germany until I showed her a scrap-book from the school that a bunch of teachers made for me before I left. I don’t mean that as a bash—I love my mom, and she does have a very active role in my life—but, that’s the way it goes. Maybe I’m too proud—the world doesn’t revolve around me, afterall—but I want people to be involved in my life. On the other hand, I have trouble connecting with what people around me are doing, because I don’t have a full-time job, credit, equity, much debt, a car, much responsibility (other than remembering things like that a cheese-plate only gets 10 crackers and garnish on top of the mustard cups), etc. I still like to chat about things like that, but I’m probably asking the wrong questions, who knows.

On CNN, FoxNews, and MSNBC

2006-08-11T16:15:00.000-04:00

Today is the second consecutive day in which I have woken up marooned in my house without much of anything productive to do except to go to work at the Knickerbocker in the evening. So far I have read the newspaper, taken a nap, watched CNN and FoxNews (and become absolutely disgusted), done laundry, checked my email 8 gazillion times to see where and when the Peace Corps is sending me abroad [I’ll write about that soon], showered, watched the news and become disgusted again, and now I think I am going to write a short critique of 24-hour news stations so that I will feel like I have done something semi-fruitful.

Whenever I arrived home from Germany on June 29^th, one of the first things I did was turn on the television to watch Sportscenter and to see what was going on in the world on whatever 24-hour news station wasn’t advertising at the time. Sportscenter, as always, was exceptional. However, watching the news made me want to vomit, and I can’t say that any more plainly.

Obviously, I knew before I left the country a year ago that the TV-news in the United States sucked (and I hope that I don’t sound like an elitist, but all I can remember is the news about Terry Schiavo and Michael Jackson), but never before did the talking heads on CNN, FoxNews, and MSNBC seem more unprofessional, sleazy, and downright unintelligent to me. Canned sound-bites, everything dumbed-down and sensationalized, no context, every anchorwoman is smoking hot (except Greta van Susteren [yuck]), name-calling and unabashed hostility, Giraldo Rivera in a flak jacket [mon dieu!]—these are all of the ingredients of incredible infotainment disguised as news, and when I say incredible, I mean both “amazing” as well as “not credible.”

The problem is that it’s impossible to understand the news—especially foreign news—unless we are given some sort of historical context. Unfortunately, tv executives think that Americans are too stupid and inattentive to understand complex news stories, and we viewers consequently only get to watch stories which involve gore (like the 20 women and children killed in Qana) or taboo subjects like homosexuality (Lance Bass is gay! omg!). “If it bleeds, it leads,” I've heard before. When was the last time you saw a news story about Central or South-East Asia, Africa, or South America? Believe it or not, Yossarian, there are a lot of people in those regions of the world who would like to kill you, not-to-mention many other newsworthy stories which should be relevant to Americans.

My problem is, if there are 3 major 24-hour news networks, why do I feel so under-informed after I watch them? Does anyone else feel like this? Does anyone else feel like any morning we could turn on the TV to find that we are being attacked by Canadian Mounties who had been gathering in large numbers along our northern border for weeks or that California finally got so pissed off that they decided to secede and form their own country with William Shatner as king just because CNN, FoxNews, and MSNBC were too busy worrying about Oprah Winfrey’s sexual orientation to report real news? What if you woke up to find out that over 1,000,000 people had been brutally murdered with knives in Africa in little over three months because no one was informed enough to react to the slaughter before it was too late?

Well, I’ll step down off of my soap-box now. I wanted to make a few other points, but I've honestly run out of steam. If anyone should come to the Knickerbocker tonight, just remember what I always say: if you happen to order a cheese-plate after 11 PM, I might just have to break your legs.

home, sweet home

2006-08-05T01:35:00.000-04:00

not frustrated

2006-08-04T21:53:00.000-04:00

I intentionally wrote my last blog entry, frustrated, and didn't post it right away, because I knew that things were going to get better in Altoona, and they have. Transitional periods in life are always accompanied by growing pains [grasshopper], and I just missed what I was used to.

So what has gotten better? Well, I'm pretty active. I work 20 hours a week or so at my neighborhood bar, the knickerbocker, and detail cars on the side with my brother Neil and Zacharias Moussaoui. I only make 6 bucks an hour at the knick, but it keeps me busy, and as long as I'm working, at least I'm not out spending money. [they let me drink for free] I've been on two separate reading kicks since I've been home. That could have something to do with the fact that I think the checkout girl at Walden Books is both novel in hotness and worth checking out, but she could be like 35. [all you need is glove. glove is all you need]*

I see my friends often enough too. They're busy at work, I know, but they always manage to pencil me into their busy schedules. [they buy me stuff{just kidding*not really|love you|*}] Furthermore, I talk to my buddies in Germany every Saturday, and I might even be receiving a visit from the "hottest girl in the world who lives (lived) at the end of my hall." (from the archives) I really hope that she can visit anyhow, but time will tell, I suppose.

Soo.. in summary, my basic needs are taken care of, I'm well-fed (too well-fed probably), my friends and family are great, I've been doing lots of stuff, the latent potential that I mentioned earlier still exists, I have a plan for the future, and life is actually pretty okay.

Better blog entries about more important stuff to come. Sorry.

*that is a Sportscenter reference, btw, not an allusion to condoms lol (added 8/11/2006)

frustrated (blog entry from July 10th)

2006-07-31T07:24:00.000-04:00

So I’m home now, teaching escapade in Germany swept under the rug, biggest transition of my life thus far sort of deal. Everything disjunct, broken, miserable in a way. I dearly miss my friends from away and am searching to regain footing with my friends here. No job, 20 hours a day sitting in a house where multiple tvs are continuously running on different floors and someone is always awake. I can’t complain about finally having fridgespace again, however I’m much too self-indulgent to be living in fastfood nation. Neither sitting on my laurals nor feeling particularly useful, all the while letting alcohol flush through my body like a sieve, although I never drink alone. I intend on cutting-back. I’m sick of my dad trying to do everything for me or my mom always pushing $20 into my hand, even if I appreciate the help and accept the money. I left behind my independence and a lovelife packed with enough latent potential to haunt me for years to come. I miss a lot of stuff that I can’t mention without being annoying, and sometimes I feel like my being out-of-sight, out-of-mind is not only desired by me, but by the general consensus.

the word

2006-07-31T07:08:00.000-04:00

Inundated by swells of boredom and futility due to my utter lack of meaningful preoccupation, I have decided to begin blogging once again. [whoa pretentious sentence]*

Well, I think that constitutes a blog entry. Time for bed! (It’s 7:10 in the morning, but I actually did go to sleep last night.) [that parenthetical expression was relevant. see how this works?]

*Is anyone familiar with the Colbert Report on Comedy Central? There is a segment of each show called, the word, in which Steven Colbert rants about something, and while he does it, parenthetical jokes and unspoken afterthoughts are printed on a blue screen beside him as though his conscious [I'm tired.. is conscious a word?] were speaking. Maybe I’m not explaining it well, but at any rate, I’m going to steal that idea and start writing things in brackets that don’t offer much in terms of relevance, but which I would like to say anyways [like bleep off you bleepity bleep bleep bleep, etc.]. It’d be funny, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about fitting everything into a perfect structure so much. [I am anal-rententive] Get my drift [focker]?

stream of consciousness

2006-04-09T13:51:00.000-04:00

When I am feeling overwhelmed or just trying to sound intelligent I sometimes tell people how nice it’d be to become a monk or to spend five years in some sort of a detention center (not federal p.m.i.t.a. prison) for a crime I never committed before being exonerated and set free before uproarious guilty fanfare. I have this conversation rehearsed, and the main point is that I would have a regimented lifestyle with little or no responsibility which would allow me ample time to sit around and organize my thoughts.

Well..

Despite the fact that I have had more free time during the last two weeks than I will have again until I go home on June 29th, I have had absolutely no desire to do anything productive, nonetheless write in my blog. Why? Well pertaining to the blog:

No inspiration.
A best friend told me that he had always thought that people who blogged were self-absorbed, but that my blog was okay.
I met an intellectual freak of nature in Berlin, and I feel shamefully exposed and inadequate (metaphorically speaking) when posting stuff online.
My computer has been broken for a week.
My life has not been exciting, and I’ve been too slothful to try to make it sound exciting by over-writing a blog entry.

This lack of inspiration has been spilling over into my everyday life, and I have no idea what to do with myself. I’ve been reading a lot, but I need something mindless. A puzzle, a paint-by-number, new movies, anything. I’ve been too lazy to clean my room, pick up my bike from the school, or write an article for the DAAD which I had promised to write in January. I’m sick of playing my guitar, and my wretched voice sounds even worse since I have had a cold for the last 3 days. I’ve sat around my room today, unshaven and wearing both contacts lenses and my glasses (I thought the headache was from the pot of coffee I drank), watching Lord of the Rings I and II while subconsciously biting my fingernails to the quick and eating a whole Easter basket full of candy which I had received today from a floormate. Relating to #3, this blog entry is the epitome of self-absorbed, but that’s only part of one dilemma which I’ve been thinking about, and if you’ve read to the end of this blog entry then I’m not 100% to blame.

One More Thing, ESPN

2006-03-24T16:42:00.000-05:00

In an article on ESPN.com called Germany at the Crossroads written on March 20, writer Frank Dell'Apa referred to Germany's best soccer player, Michael Ballack, as a "superstar ossi."

"Ossi" is a pejorative term for someone who comes from the "ost" or former east (GDR). (Its western German counterpart is "wessi.") This is not a term of endearment and might actually be somewhat closer to a racial slur in tone and register. Basically if you would call a German an Ossi, you'd probably receive a well-deserved punch to the head.

I'm too tired to do it now, but I'm going to send ESPN.com an email tomorrow and demand that they give me a job as a country-specialist for Germany. Obviously they've become too bloated not too make idiotic oversights, and I'm clearly not qualified to do anything else. I'll let you know how it goes.

==========================================================================

Or will this be an example of the new Germany -- energetic youngsters such as Philipp Lahm, Lukas Podolski and Bastian Schweinsteiger; relatively recent immigrants Gerald Asamoah and Patrick Owomoyela; a team built around a superstar Ossi (East German-born) Michael Ballack?
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/columns/story?id=362287&root=us&cc=5901

Wikipedia: Gießen

2006-03-15T10:37:00.000-05:00

(above: Gießen, 1918. below Gießen, 1939)

Gießen or Giessen is a city in the German federal state (Bundesland) of Hessen, capital of both the Gießen district and the Gießen region. As of 2003 there are approximately 72,909 inhabitants plus 20,000 students.

The history of the city goes back to 775, when the first to-be suburbs "Wieseck" and "Unsenheim" were first mentioned. Gießen itself was founded by Graf Wilhelm von Gleiberg as a waterside castle. In 1607, the University of Gießen was founded.

Wilhelm Liebknecht, founder of the Social Democratic Party of Germany, was born on March 29, 1826 in Gießen.

German pop-rock band Juli also come from Gießen.

Heavy bombing destroyed about 75% of Gießen in 1944, including most of the city's historic buildings.

In 1977 Gießen was merged with the neighboring city Wetzlar to form the new city of Lahn, however this attempt to reorganize the administration was very unpopular and was reversed in 1979.

Turkish Barber

2006-03-14T09:34:00.000-05:00

My barber is an artist. Seriously. He is this a somewhat macho, very calm, forty-some-year-old Turkish dude with ashen, slicked-back hair somewhat redolent of Uncle Jessy from Full House, and he makes me look like a million bucks.

The guy doesn’t speak much German or English, therefore our common language is usually comprised of smiles and nods of approval. He gained my trust after helping me make the seamless conversion to short hair in November. Now I simply stroll into his little shop and let him fulfill all of his artistic visions on my head without any instruction other than "mm.. ein bisschen kurzer." [a little shorter] He knows the deal.

The hair-cutting procedure is somewhat ritualistic and lasts between 30 and 45 minutes. [The following might sound a bit homo-erotic, but it’s actually quite nice] First he brings a cup tea and sizes up my head while I fix the tea to my liking. He then clips the sides and the back of my head somewhat roughly. All the while the pining voice of a Turkish singer drones in the background. After that he wets down my hair with a spray bottle all the whilst taking care not to spritz water on my face. The excess is subsequently swabbed off with a crisp, white towel.

At this point dude begins cutting my hair millimeter for millimeter in rhythmic salvos of five scissor-bursts. With each burst only minimal hair is separated from my head, leading me to wonder how soon he will have to hang up the scissors due to carpal-tunnel. (Things must go much more slowly in Turkey. There was another guy there who had his face shaved twice, and he was there longer than I was. komisch) Every five minutes or so the barber points to the tea on the table, and I drink. (I’d be drinking tea spiced with my own hair if the operation would progress any other way) This scissor-phase takes about 15 minutes, and twice during it’s duration the microscopic strands of hair are propelled away from my head with a blow dryer. At this point the clippers come back out, and dude re-clips the sides and back of my head. Then he reverts to the scissors for one last time.

The final and by far coolest part of the entire process is the flaming stick which the guy uses to singe the peach fuzz off of my ears. [it better not grow in more thickly now] I was both scared and a bit skeptical whenever I saw him spray hairspray onto end of the stick and set it afire for the first time back in November, but now it’s all part of the routine. I’m not going to lie—he burnt my right ear slightly today, but then he massaged my ears with aftershave. [okay, that is a bit gay]

As I mentioned, the guy sort of has free-reign to do with my hair what he wants. My last haircut was neutral, but this time I look like an even nerdier Toby McGuire from Spiderman. Tomorrow I’ll go back to being a scruff and simply shaking my head when I come out of the shower, but for the time being it’s nice to have pomade in the hair, even if it only happens once every six weeks.

in like a lion, out like a lamb

2006-03-13T01:32:00.000-05:00

This morning i bounded out of bed with panic at 7AM after my cell phone-alarmclock beeped. "It's not supposed to be bright and sunny already," I thought. "I must be late!"

But I'm not late. It's March, and the days are just getting longer. Winter is OVER, bizotch! [i don't actually say "bizotch," but here it seems appropriate] After having a two-day week at school and subsequently spending last week in Berlin, I had just failed to notice. (I normally wake up much later when I can) On the 26th we'll have "spring spring-ahead," and mornings will gain another hour of darkness. Nevertheless I am enthused. No more coming to school while it's still dark out. juhu!

:)

2006-03-11T13:26:00.000-05:00

Ich hab noch einen Koffer in Berlin,
deswegen muss ich nächstens wieder hin.
Die Seligkeiten vergangener Zeiten
sind alle noch in meinem Koffer drin.

Ich hab noch einen Koffer in Berlin.
Der bleibt auch dort und das hat seinen Sinn.
Auf diese Weise lohnt sich die Reise,
denn, wenn ich Sehnsucht hab, dann fahr ich wieder hin.

Wunderschön ist’s in Paris auf der Rue Madelaine.
Schön ist es, im Mai in Rom durch die Stadt zu gehen,
oder eine Sommernacht still beim Wein in Wien.
Doch ich denk, wenn ihr auch lacht, heut’ noch an Berlin.
Ich hab noch einen Koffer in Berlin,
....Denn ich hab noch einen Koffer in Berlin.

-Marlene Dietrich, 1951. Ich hab noch einen Koffer in Berlin

Smallest car I’ve ever seen..

2006-03-11T12:39:00.000-05:00

Forget the dinky smart car. Walking to the store today, I noticed this suesses ding parked near Pennymarkt, where I buy my groceries. I always see it putting around residential Giessen at 25 km/h or less, so I thought I’d take a picture while I had my camera on me. I believe that 25 km/h is its top speed permissible by law (for those of you keeping track at home, that’s 15.53 mph), and I’m also fairly certain that it’s operation is relegated to teenagers who are just beginning to learn how to drive and have relinquished all hope of ever getting laid.

[promiscuity among teenagers is in no way encouraged or condoned by the writer of this blog]

Giessen Makes Me Kaputt- #17

2006-03-11T12:38:00.000-05:00

Last night upon arriving home from Berlin and the 5 hours of homeward travel which had accompanied it, I realized that I had missed the last #2 bus back to Eichendorffring (aka my room). Walking the 45 minutes home with my book-laden backpack and cumbersome duffle bag, I had to wonder: “What university city doesn’t have a bus running from the train station after 11:15 on a Friday night?” mach mich fertig

Sylvia's okay, I guess. Big, Gay Ascot Phallus

2006-03-03T18:41:00.000-05:00

Okay, so calling sylvia a stupid ho or a bloede kuh wasn't so nice. Perhaps she really is in need of a B-English person and not a speaker of A-English. I accept that, and I'll even go as far as saying I was wrong. See, I'm not censoring myself (just like google shouldn't censor people in China, Jacob). I said something, and although I feel differently about it now, I'm leaving it out there.

On the lighter side, tonight some friends and I had intended on going to a certain bar called the Apfelbaum or something similar. It was closed, and so we accidentally ended up in a gay bar called the Ascot. ..anyways, to make a long story short, it only struck me that it was a gay bar after I saw the following mural on the wall, which seemed quite funny at the time so I took Kat's camera and took a picture:

Sylvia=Stupid Ho

2006-03-03T13:37:00.000-05:00

About two weeks ago I posted a flyer on the crowded bulletin board at the university looking for a male or female German conversation partner. (obviously the partner would have to be a male or a female, but I just want you to be assured that I'm not looking for a date) Lots and lots of people do this in order to improve their language skills, and since lots and lots of people have gone home until the end of April because of semester break, I thought that this would give me an opportunity to meet some new people.

Look at this (i promise you I didn't change one single word):

Hallo Todd,
my name is Sylvia and I would be interested in a Tandem. But first of all I have some questions to ask: Do you speak American or British English? Where do you come from? What do you study? And what does your e-mail adress "madriotz" mean?
Best wishes,
Sylvia

Hey Sylvia,
Awesome! I am from Altoona, Pennsylvania in the US, so unfortunately my english isn't quite as pleasant-sounding as a Brit's. I've been in Giessen since September studying German part-time at the uni and working as an assistant English teacher at a gesamtschule here. I'm not a real teacher, though. In fact, I just graduated a year ago with a BA from a college in the US, and now I basically just want to improve my German and maybe meet some nice people in the process. Ich kann schon relativ gut Deutsch, aber in letzter Zeit komme ich irgendwie gar nicht weiter. mm.. I've had the email address madriotz since I was 14 or so. It was supposed to be something like "angry-mob" or even "mad-riots", but everything cool and original had already been taken.

Meine Handy# is 0174/4017397 und meine Festnetz# is 0641/9443493. Wo kommst du her? Studierst du also Anglistik? Ich bin von Sonntag bis Donnerstag nicht da, aber wir konnten uns vielleicht morgen oder irgendwann naechstes Wochenende treffen? mach's gut!

Todd

Dear Todd,
I fear I have to disappoint you. Excuse me, but I absolutely need a Tandem
partner who speaks British English because of my accent. I hope you are not
offended. I am sure you will soon get another partner who fits better to you
than I do. Good luck!
Best wishes,
Sylvia

I won't tell her this, but I really feel the need to comment on how much of a stupid ho this Sylvia is and how much her English probably sucks despite the fact that she probably started learning the language when she was 4. She could have mentioned that she was looking for a British English speaker, bloede kuh. I bet she's ugly too.

Promise

2006-03-03T13:31:00.000-05:00

Some of you noticed that I had deleted the last two posts of my blog. These entries included one about me not being able to sleep at 3am and another about getting turned down for a job. I shouldn’t have censored myself for being moody and annoyed, but it’s too late now—the entries have been deleted and are irretrievable. I am ashamed that I was ashamed, but what’s done is done. In this light I want to make all (3) of the people who read my blog a promise.

EVEN if I blog a litany of racial, homophobic, terroristic, anti-everything-which-makes-this-world-proper-and-decent slurs in a moment of fleeting misguidedness, EVEN if I blog drunken naked pictures of myself (or yourself) at a party that got a little too out-of-hand, and EVEN if I blog a drunken love-letter to an ex-girlfriend whom I haven’t seen or heard from in 20 or 2 years (these things happen, you know), I will NEVER, EVER AGAIN self-censor myself.

jacobhargreaves.com

2006-03-01T18:02:00.000-05:00

I'm on hiatus until friday. If you haven't gone to jacobhargreaves.com, your dead to me. No just kidding but do go there and leave him a critique. His blog = office space. funny. waste no time. don't be a dick. i wouldn't whore his website/blog around if it wasn't awesome. go go gog gogogogogogo!

2006-02-21T08:33:00.000-05:00

What I miss about home (in no particular order)

1. English
2. Convenience
3. Driving
4. Not having to take a bus everywhere [I just missed the bus, so now I’m skipping a class]
5. Not being a stupid foreigner occasionally [..usually] (refer to #1)
6. Family
6. Bar Food- hot wings, philly cheese, steak fries
7. Ranch Dressing
8. Bud Light
9. Americans are more optimistic
10. Americans aren’t as skeptical [..which can also be bad]
11. Americans are more polite and not always so direct [to the Germans we come across as used car salesmen, 12. but that’s exactly what I miss]
13. The Superbowl [Steelers!]
14. My friends
15. Being intelligent (refer to #5)
16. Being irresponsible
17. Sportscenter and Daily Show
18. Country Music
19. Working/Drinking at the Knickerbocker
20. Girlfriends sans cultural surprises/misunderstandings
21. EatnPark
22. NPR
23. The Weather [i.e. I miss the sun, and when it snows, I want lots of snow.]
24. Papa John’s
25. Seeing who died, got arrested, or is going to get married in the Altoona Mirror
26. Cleanliness at home [Some of the people who live on my floor belong in a zoo. If you would walk into the bathroom, you’d understand.]
27. Not waiting at stupid pedestrian traffic lights

What I will miss about Germany

1. German
2. Eating Doener Kebab
3. Trains/long trips
4. Going to parties without needing a DD [public transportation rocks!]
5. Being different
6. The school and the kids
7. German Beer at domestic prices
8. News that is short, sweet, and best of all, reliable [The coverage on Martha Stewart and Terry Schiavo still makes me want to vomit. Ted Turner, Rupert Murdoch, Fox News, etc. kill me.]
9. Intelligent conversations about foreign politics with other foreigners
10. Girls have nicer asses here [Hey, I realize that I am no heavyweight when it comes to good looks or charm, but this is simply a fact ..people just walk more here]
11. Having my own living space
12. The Kontoauszugdruecker at the bank
13. Walking around the city [i.e. taking care of many errands quickly and efficiently]
14. Galileo, my favorite show in any language
15. Cafés and Gyro stands on every corning
16. How clean the country is and how fresh the air is [you could eat off of any street or sidewalk]

United States wins. I'll be ready to go home in a few months.

Birthday Party in Lich

2006-02-19T07:27:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to a 48th birthday party of a friend and fellow-teacher at the school. I feel compelled to write about how I felt like Tom Hanks in the movie BIG because of how much older everybody else was, but I had too much fun hanging out to overly exaggerate. For dinner there were four or five hippy-vegetarian dishes, all of which tasted great. Then the 12 of us sat around the table drinking and chatting for four hours. There was white wine, apple wine (a specialty from the Frankfurt-region), random sorts of whisky, gin, schnapps, and of course, beer. I stuck with beer all night, but at one point I drank a glass of expensive whisky that tasted exactly like a campfire. Everyone else seemed to enjoy it so I lied and said that I did too. I had fun chatting, but at times it was unsettling to see older couples casually caressing each others back right in the middle of conversation. I kept trying hard not to notice, but I couldn't help thinking, “gross. they’re so going to do it later.”

The party was in Lich (Licher beer is famous in Germany), so I had to get dropped off in Giessen again. Because gas is so expensive in Germany, it’s nice to just have people drop you off at the nearest bus-stop, so that’s what I did. Unfortunately I ended up at wrong bus-stop because it was so dark, and I hadn’t noticed where we were. I ended up walking 1.5 miles home along a highway at 2 AM. There was a sidewalk, but my head still hurts from getting high-beamed by 20 gazillion cars.

Sled-Riding in Hoherodskopf

2006-02-17T10:43:00.000-05:00

Yesterday morning I went on a fieldtrip with 23 6th graders, 12 11th graders, a teacher, and a school social worker to the highest mountain in Hessen, Hoherodskopf, in order to go sledding and play in the snow. I hate winter and cold weather, but fieldtrips definitely beat being stuck inside a classroom. Hoherodskopf is over 700 meters tall and had been decked with nearly a meter of snow on Tuesday. Unfortunately the weather has been mild and it had rained for two days straight right before we arrived there yesterday morning. Stepping out of the bus we found about 10 inches of wet, ultra dense snow that was impossible to sled in. Furthermore, it was still raining, and everyone was cold and miserable for a time (except for the 11th graders who snuck off in order to smoke weed. Every single one of them spent the whole four hours sitting in a pub, no joke).

Most of the 6th graders spent about 45 minutes sled-riding before trudging up the side of the mountain and seeking shelter in a big shed. Most of them had thermoses of tea or cocoa, and an Italian dude named Claudio (the social worker) made a fire. The kids took it easy until a few of the guys started throwing snowballs. I slightly egged them on because I was a bit bored, and the battle raged on-and-off for more than an hour. The teacher I was with, a 40-some-year-old female who just happened to be celebrating her b-day, took a pretty nasty shot in the eye from a kid named Geronimo (his real name). I felt really bad because she had nothing to do with the snowball battle and didn't deserve to get a black-eye for her birthday, but at least everyone else had fun.

At the end of the trip the bus driver was infuriated and refused to let anyone onto the bus. Apparently he was striking because somebody had hit the back of the bus with a snowball, and none of the kids there would own up to the misdeed. The teacher called the number on the side of the bus causing the driver's boss to call the driver's cell phone, and then we were finally able to go home. kids..

Giessen 46ers

2006-02-12T16:05:00.000-05:00

Last night some friends and I pregamed in my kitchen before going to the Osthalle to watch the Gießen 46ers (actually pronounced "forty- sixers") play against the Tübingen Walter Tigers. Pregaming was fun, but the most hilarious part of the whole evening was when Gießen had the ball and the crowd kept chanting, "defense [clapclapclap] defense [clapclapclap]." The basketball cheers were exactly the same as American ones, so something tells me that the crowd meant to say "offense." I think it was just the fault of whoever started the cheer, because I caught myself saying "defense" too at first. crazy germans. .

nuernberg

2006-02-10T20:50:00.000-05:00

As I had mentioned, on the way back from genealogy in Regensburg I made an abstecher to Nuernberg to visit my buddy Joe. It was refreshing to hear that his Fulbright experience is going very similar to mine and that he also hasn't turned in any his paperwork yet, heh. We had a great time drinking the fine German beer in an old bierkeller, and we even met a 9-fingered old man who presumably used to compete against Arnold Schwarzeneggar in weight-lifting.

Ricarda Huch Schule

2006-02-10T06:03:00.000-05:00

Here are some photos of "die Ricarda." Instead of individual desks like most schools in the US have, typical German classrooms have tables organized in this U-form. The oberstufe (grades 7-13) building is only half of the Ricarda Huch Schule. Behind it another building where the Ricarda's elementary school is located. The school is very old, was undamaged from bombing during WWII (unlike most of Giessen), and was constructed in the Jugendstil-style. Jugendstil was an artistic reaction to industrialization around the turn of the 19th century. I'm not exactly sure what ithe entire movement encompassed, but all around the school are small relief-sculptures of plants, animals, and insects.

High Fidelity- Part I

2006-02-08T18:10:00.000-05:00

In my first blog entry I declared my intention to write about my experiences (or lack thereof) with girls in Germany. Makes for good reading, right? I enjoyed New Year’s Day when I met and smooched with a good-looking and funny girl thereby pissing off some random dude. (I saw her again, and we smooched again, so I am 85% sure that she wasn’t just drunk.) Other than that, though, my encounters with females in Germany have been thus far fruitless. Coupled with the fact that I am reading the book High Fidelity about the most bitter ex-boyfriend in the world (but I’m not bitter ..just 22-years-old!), I’d say I have a great blog entry ahead of me.

So let’s recount, shall we?

Hanna- Hanna is German, and she and I enjoyed an almost 11-month relationship. Unfortunately we only saw each other for about 2 months of that time period, because I am mentally retarded and keep trying to maintain long distance relationships. We broke up a month after I arrived here, and I think we like each other more now anyways.

Fredericka (actually, I knew her as “Rica,” but now she’s more of a Fred)- I met this girl in my translation class back when I still went to classes regularly. She was pretty attractive and had the German hairdo where her bangs stretched from one side of her head over her eyes and onwards to the other side of her head. I was helping her with her translation—it was German-English translation, so I was sort of the man—and then we talked all through class, during the break, and during our second class. We did this for two weeks straight, and then she asked me to go to a concert with her and her friend. Cool, right?

I went to the concert and brought a buddy along so that we were an even number of people. 10:30- no Fredericka. 11:30.. 12:30.. 1:30- still no Fredericka and my buddy leaves. There were hundreds of people there, and I kept hoping that we had just missed each other somehow. After all, I had every reason to believe that this girl liked me. A few 13th grade students were there, and we stood around and chatted for another hour. 2:30- I leave.

I wasn’t aware that people still stood other people up, but apparently the tradition has carried over into the 21st century. I had sent her 3 text messages—one before, one during, and one after the concert—but I didn’t hear from Fred again until two months later. The roads had been extremely icy, and she could have been dead for all I knew, but pride forbid me from calling her.

Last Tuesday as I raced to finish my translation before class started, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder and immediately knew who it was. Fred was indeed alive, and boy did she look like hell. She apologized and said that she didn’t remember what happened. “It must have been that my car wouldn’t start,” she [actually] said. She also said that she should have called but didn’t have such a sensational excuse for that one. I played it cool and told her she had missed a good concert, but not to worry. Then she chirped on about how she needed to get out of Hessen and wanted to transfer universities despite the fact that she only has one more semester left. I was polite without being engaging, just hoping that she would go away so that I neither had to be too nice nor too rude. She didn’t sit beside opting for a seat behind me. When she finally did go away it was with a huff and halfway through the class as the professor was speaking. Wtf

Girl at the End of the Hall (Alexandra)- I don’t know why I am so fixated on dating a German girl, but I really need to stop it. In one of my entries I applauded myself for having the courage to ask out the girl at the end of the hall, Alex, and because she said yes. I knew beforehand that I was walking out on limb by asking her out, because I had no reason to believe that she liked me. All I knew was that she was super-nice, extremely attractive, somewhat exotic as far as Germans go (she’s Schwaebisch oo la la), and that I’d be leaving in June to go home. She’s also a bit quiet, and I felt like if she had the chance to talk to me outside of our kitchen, she’d have no choice but to like me. (I still think this, but perhaps it was a bit short-sighted of me at the time.)

While I didn’t really care about being stood-up by Fredericka, it hurt slightly more whenever Alex told me on the morning of our date that she couldn’t go with me. I had already reserved the tickets and built myself up for the date during the week. She’s still a nice person in my book, though. I had sensed her apprehension about going out with me during the week, and looking at this from her angle, maybe she thought it was nicer to make up an excuse than to say, “Hey, American, you’re nice, but I don’t like you.”

As a self-critique, I think that I was way too forward, and theater isn’t exactly a good first date, but I already gave my reason for being so forward, and I had already seen the “play” (it was more like a “piece” if anything), and it shouldn’t have been a big deal. It wasn’t in a theater but in a bar, it was short, it was a comedy, it was inexpensive, and I had invited other people and told her she could do the same. Oh well, I still had fun, and I wouldn’t change anything if I were in the same situation. If she wants to go home every other weekend, not go out and meet people, and spend all of her time alone in her room, then fuck it.

..it only gets worse. More to come about Spanish girl, Turkish girl with the gap in her teeth, and French girl.

going to the World Cup!

2006-02-06T17:51:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine Leslie and I won in the ticket-draw last month and have tickets to see two world cup matches:

Tunisia vs. Saudi Arabia in Munich- June 14th (my bday!)
United States vs. Ghana in Nürnberg- June 22nd

Each ticket is going to cost 100 Euros a piece, so at the moment I'm trying to cancel the the Tunisia/Saudi Arabia tickets. We were hoping to get lucky and just get any tickets for one match. Instead we got the best tickets for two matches! The tickets will also have our personal information written on them so that we can't scalp them. I can guarantee you that I will be the most annoyingly patriotic american that Germany has ever seen. I can't wait to pregame on the train, sing, and pee on the streets like all of the other hooligans :)

Freddy Zählen

2006-02-06T17:46:00.000-05:00

I’m completely worn out, but I’m probably never going to sleep tonight after having taken a 4-hour nap this afternoon. I stayed up last night until 4:30 am last night to listen to the Steelers win the Super Bowl, and then I had to wake up at 7 for school. My first class began at 8:35, and the teacher with whom I was working interrupted me every time I tried to say something. This whole “tandem-teaching” thing we are doing annoys the hell out of me, and I could have slept in until 8:15. I like the teacher personally, and we go out for drinks and stuff, but it’s sometimes painful to sit there and in class and listen to her go on and on and on and on.

My second class started at 9:35, and this one I get to teach all by my lonesome. The class is a 6th grade class, and kids are well-behaved and even have a nickname for me. I became “Freddy Zählen” shortly after I mispronounced the word zählen in a lesson more than a month ago. Tough crowd, right? After I made sure that they’d never heard of Nightmare on Elm Street, I told them that it’d be alright to keep calling me it. (Honestly, I think they would have kept calling me it anyways.) Big mistake. Now I hear, “Freddy, Freddy!” every morning on the bus to school, and every now and again the students holler “Mr. Zählen!” when they see me in the city. They are really sweet kids, though, so I let it go on. At any rate, we learned new vocabulary, how to write a letter, read three examples of letters, and then I set them free to work on classwork. One of the letters was about bicycle safety, and we actually sang a bit of the “I want to ride my bicycle// I want to ride my bike”-song. I was too tired to care, and the kids liked it. Fun!

Picture From New Years

2006-02-05T07:34:00.000-05:00

This picture goes with my post from New Year's Day.

(from left to right: Vaeko, Bastion, Mitch, Laura, her bf Sammy, me)

Regensburg

2006-02-05T07:22:00.000-05:00

After spending the better part of a day in Regensburg, my first impression of the city is that it is freaking cold. From the moment I got off of the train at noon I’ve either been wandering around lost while looking for the archive or the Youth Hostel or sitting inside of a freezing-cold reading room wearing only a t-shirt. (I had forgotten to bring a hoody, and unfortunately jackets weren’t allowed inside.) I’m at the youth hostel now, and despite how huge it is (it’s huge), I’m the only guest. No one had bothered to turn a light on outside which subsequently led me to freeze my nips off while wandering around Regensburg for an hour with both my duffle bag and back pack. I nearly snapped and went to a hotel, but the guy at the desk said that singles room cost 75 Euros, and that’s a high price for a hotel without a swimming pool in my opinion. The hostel costs 17 Euros with breakfast included. I don’t mind sleeping in a room with four other beds if I’m the only person here!

I tried to take a shower moments ago in order to warm up, but apparently management here had not intended on having company, because I don’t think the water-heater is turned on. I let it run for about 5 minutes but only ended up getting hives and welts on my right arm from holding it under the water while waiting for it to warm up. (My skin does weird things when I’m cold) I have no hot water in my room either.

The train-ride and genealogy that I did today were both pretty interesting, if not a bit tedious. Both of my trains today were late, but I found 10 Euros under my seat. (I was using that to justify possibly paying for a hotel room.) I might have found some new ancestors, but these people are probably only brothers and cousins of the actual people whom I’m looking for. I learned this morning that 70% of the research can’t be done in Regensburg, but at least I can now justify going to Passau, which is right beside Austria. Bavaria (where I’m at now) is 10000000000000 cooler than Hessen (where I studied abroad and where Giessen is).

I’m going to go out and grab food and a beer before it’s too late and I feel like a dousche for sitting alone at a restaurant. Keep reading my blog! (please)

German Script

2006-02-01T18:23:00.000-05:00

Reading old German handwriting (suetterlin script) is almost impossible. Therefore I'll be studying my little "Wir Lesen Deutsche Schrift" manual for at least a little while on the train tomorrow.. if I drink enough coffee in the morning. mal gucken

Going to Regensburg to do Genealogy

2006-02-01T17:57:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I will depart Giessen at 7:20 AM armed with two partially filled-in family trees, a book on how to read the old German script, and a book about the Bavarian Forest and surrounding areas in order to do some genealogy for my Uncle Gerry. Most of my maternal Grandmother's ancestors lived along the Danube River between Passau and Regensburg, and I hope to dig up some DOB's, DOD's, parents' names, etc. on them. The earliest dates that I have here are in the 1790s, and if I can get ahold of the birth certificates for some of these people, I'll learn their parents' names and their DOBs which'd probably get my Uncle back into the 1760s.

I'll be more likely to find information about my maternal grandfather's side, the Stahls. These people actually lived in Regensburg (and not just around it), and so their records ought to be in the parishes where I am going. These people emigrated to the United States around the 1870s and settled in Altoona of all places.

At any rate, I should arrive at about 11:30 in Regensburg and have just enough time to grab lunch and walk to the Bischoeffliches Zentralarchiv before it opens. I'll have 6 hours tomorrow and 3 hours Friday morning to find anything out, and then it's off to Nuremberg to party with a buddy of mine. At any rate, it should be an interesting weekend.

More to come.

Report: U.S. Foreign Policy Hurting American Students' Chances Of Getting Laid Abroad

2006-01-25T07:41:00.000-05:00

funniest article of all-time. read it

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30993

ten things.

2006-01-22T12:23:00.000-05:00

9. "Life is not a race but a journey, and today is a gift. That's why they call it the present." - Yolanda King (from a commencement speech delivered at Juniata College)

Multi-Kulti and About War with Iran

2006-01-22T10:10:00.000-05:00

One of the best things about living and studying in Germany is the constant exposure to various cultures and mentalities. Thousands of foreigners like myself come here to study at the collegiate level. It didn’t strike me at first, but I am also beginning to realize just how exceptionally diverse the student-body of the Ricarda-Huch-Schule is.

Nearly all of the students at the RHS speak German like a native speaker, and so I had assumed that they were all Germans. Nope. In fact, there are almost as many “foreigners” (kids who have a non-German passport) as German kids in one of the 5^th grade classes that I help to teach. The nations of Russia, Turkey, Greece, Armenia, India, Poland, and yes, the United States (GI-baby) are represented in the class. However, one would never realize it just by observing the kids’ appearances and mannerisms. The only telltale sign that not all of the kids are 100% German are their names on the seating chart, and even so, aside from little Mehmet, Svetlana, Magda, and a few others, most of the names sound as though they could also be German anyway.

At any rate, what I really wanted to write about was a conversation I had tonight at dinner with two people from Iran who are convinced that war with the United States and a coalition of European countries is inevitable. (That’s why I started with the multi-cultural theme. I got side-tracked after sentence #2, oops)

A brief synopsis:

These people—and I won’t mention their names for fear of causing them problems (not that I think anyone important from Iran would read my blog, duh, but I know that they would be angry at me)—would rather have a war take place between Iran and US/European-forces than spend another generation under the current regime. Furthermore, at least one of the two people would rather Iran confront war than economic sanctions if it comes to a vote in the UN Security Council. The people of Iran are suffering enough as it is, and the blood would presumably justify the end. They hate the Mullahs who hijacked the government from the former shaw, and they hate the current president. One hates President Bush, but the other thinks that he is extremely clever for how he is handling Iran. Bush said he wants to solve this crisis through “diplomatic means,” and the latter person believes that Bush really wants war and is just trying to bait the Europeans onto his side since the Europeans alone would not have a sufficient army to go to war with Iran. After the debacle in Iraq, Bush needs the Europeans on his side. They believe that it would be a bitter war since many Iranians only know what they see and hear from the un-free Iranian media, and because these people would fight hard. However, both believe and hope that Iran would lose.

So.. I apologize for being so long-winded, but I thought this entry was worth sharing. (GO STEELERS!)

Response to Jacob

2006-01-18T10:43:00.000-05:00

In response my "balls" entry, Jake wrote: i bet it's the hair. IN TOD WE TRUST. My response to Jacob:
This is what I look like when I wake up at 6:15 in the morning
(remind me to clean my mirror and change the date on my camera.)

About Teaching

2006-01-17T14:17:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow I teach my first conversation class of 2006, and like I said before, I'm a bit anxious to see whether many students show up. I hope so. I think that I am going try something different. Normally I start out the class with an ice-breaker of some sorts. Tomorrow this will be a cheesy "Tibetan Personality Test" that someone had emailed to me. It ought to at least work well as a listening exercise. Then we'll go into the "what's new in the news" section like normal, because I think that it's important that they know what's going on in the world and how to talk about it. Lastly, I always try to discuss something relevant or meaningful to them. This is the hard part. Because they've been working so hard on the American Dream and will likely need to know something about it for their Abitur in March, we are going to talk about immigration. Normally for this last part I would have a 2 or 3 page article which I would have them read and answer questions on. Tomorrow I will give them each 1 of 4 very short articles which I found on the BBC news website, make them read them, and then have them present the articles to the class. Finally, I am going to divide the class up into 4 groups: Illegal Aliens, the US gov, rich people who employ the aliens, and finally unemployed citizens in the US who might be at a disadvantage because of illegal immigrants who are willing to work for a pittance of what others earn. Then they are going to debate whether illegal immigration is a good or bad thing.

I really hope that this works out, because the discussion is always what is lacking in my classes. It's a conversation class, and people need to talk. I worry that I somehow need to be more engaging, but I think if I'm prepared enough, it oughtta work out. Tomorrow I will have enough material there for them, and I refuse to say more than I have to.

Other Balls

2006-01-15T17:14:00.000-05:00

First off, wow. Go Steelers. I know that my presence in the United States (or what clothes I wear, or on which chair I sit, or whether I am watching the game in the room alone or with others, etc.) has nothing to do with how well the Steelers play. However, whenever I am abroad the Steelers simply kick ass. Last Winter I made it home just in time to watch the Steelers lose the AFC championship to the Pats. If the Steelers win the Superbowl, you might never see me again.

Second item. My friend Leslie and I entered the FIFA-lottery tonight to try to get tickets for 3 different World Cup matches in Nuremberg, Frankfurt, and Munich. The games are: US vs. Ghana, Portugal vs. Iran, and Saudi Arabia vs. Togo, respectively. There are only 250,000 tickets available for many, many more people, and we likely have no chance. Registration ends tonight at midnight, and we should find out whether we will receive tickets or not within a few weeks. Needless to say, I'll be keeping my fingers crossed even if I have to watch Snakistan play Fritolaysia. (if you get that, I like you) Time for bed, night

Balls

2006-01-15T07:51:00.000-05:00

Guess who's going to go out with the hottest girl in the world who lives at the end of my hall? ! THIS GUY. I ran into her in the kitchen this morning, and after we chatted for a minute or two, I said, "hey, sag mal.. " and went seamlessly into the little speech that I had been rehearsing in my head for the last few days. I was anything but smooth, but she got the point and said yes woo. Next saturday gehen wir ins Theater. Hooray for minor victories:)

(Go Steelers!)

Most Powerful Woman in the World visits USA

2006-01-13T07:25:00.000-05:00

[This article is about the new German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, visiting the White House. The US and Germany do not have close ties after the war in Iraq, which was very unpopular in Germany, after the US kidnapped a German citizen and falsely accused him of being a terrorist, and after the US used German airports to covertly kidnap and move random people. Merkel has further alienated the White House by criticizing Guantanamo Bay and divulging that Condoleezze Rice admitted to her in a conversation that the US made mistakes by kidnapping some random German dude (God-for-@#$%ing-bid). Just read the article.]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/01/12/AR2006011202034.html

Family Guy, Meatloaf, World Cup, Languages

2006-01-12T18:36:00.000-05:00

Woohoo, Family Guy has finally made it to Germany! I just sat here and watched the Stewie's B-day party episode. I can't believe that 'heil Hiter' was actually said. ..honestly didn't think that that would fly here. Oh well. Then the episode about Y2K and where Peter beat up the chicken that had given him a bad coupon was on. All of the voices are pretty good with the exception of Stewie who sounds more like a little girl than the ambiguously gay Broadway actor.

I had fun tonight doing absolutely nothing. After taking another long midday nap, I made meatloaf and sat in the kitchen with a nice Franziskaner hefeweizen (beer) and watched tv. Some of my floormates seemed a bit weirded out at first by the meatloaf, but a few people tried it and really liked it. The Arabs were afraid that there was pork in it despite the fact that the package of hamburger explicitly said "beef." At least I'll have more leftovers:)

I then caught up on some email and other things online. There's a chance that I might get to see a World Cup match between the United States and Ghana in Nuremberg on June 24th. Another person from Juniata who is doing research in Augsburg and I are entering into a lottery system to try to get tickets for the match. The lottery is on this Sunday, and there could be millions of people trying to get tickets just like us. Registration for this round of the lottery began on Dec. 12th, and within 12 hours 150,000 people had already registered. (yikes!)

I normally don't have school on friday, but I'm going to go in during the second period and check out some presentations about Booker T. Washington by the 12th grade. These kids speak English soo fluently because they started learning the language when they were in 5th grade when their minds were still impressionable. I'll be paying off college loans for the next 20 years because I wanted to learn one foreign language, and these kids will know two (English and French at the Ricarda Huch Schule) by the time they graduate. Funny.

2006-01-12T02:39:00.000-05:00

If I were like prince, this would be my symbol. It's actually the coat-of-arms from the Justus-Liebig-Universitaet (aka "the uni"), but I like it so much that I'm taking it. It's 8:43, and I've already been awake for over two hours because my first class was cancelled. The teacher was sick, and a substitute teacher couldn't be found. I think I fell asleep last night at 4 AM, but I've already had too much coffee to fall back asleep. (Note to self: 4-hour midday naps are things to be avoided.) I am dragging, agh. Anyways, I have to go back to the school for the 4th period anyways, so I'll just suck it up.

2006-01-11T17:52:00.000-05:00

Today was 100x better. The ups and downs are much more intense here in Germany than at home for me, i think. I had 4 classes--2 of which I got to teach myself--and I also went around to all of the 13th grade English classes and made announcements concerning 2 conversation classes beginning next week. It was sort of scary knocking on random classroom doors and making announcements in German to kids whom I don't really know all that well, but I think I did it well. I'm not a defeatist by any stretch, but I see very few students coming to my conversation classes. The classes are voluntary, and the students have too much to do already with their Abitur coming up in April. (The abitur is basically the comprehensive end-of-high school test which decides if/where a student can study in Germany.) Mal gucken.

After class I somehow missed the bus twice so I walked the 35 minutes home. I then took a nice 4-hour nap, so I'm not worrying about falling asleep until at least 2 or 3 AM. Maybe I'll figure out why my aim isn't working in the meantime. My anti-virus software expired two days ago, and since then my computer has been going berserk.

Long Day--Short Post

2006-01-10T16:28:00.000-05:00

I know why I will never become a high school German teacher: I will NEVER have a job which forces me to wake up at 6:30 every morning for 180 days out of the year. @#$% that. The last two mornings have been punishing. Although I went to bed relatively early last night, a teacher told me today, "Mann Todd, siehst du aber verpennt aus." (man, you look like hell) I said that I always look verpennt. She agreed, but said that I looked particularly verpennt today. word.

I had four hours of class today at the school and two hours at the Uni. Although I actually got to teach a bit today, this whole experience is sort of irritating sometimes. The problem is that I work with 10 different teachers, and it is my responsibility to approach them, ask we were are doing in class on a particular day, and ask how I can help out. It's #$%ing annoying to track down people all of the time, and when they are annoyed with me, I feel totally frustrated and unwanted. I hate feeling like I am tagging along, and I do a lot of things really well. Maybe I should fight the urge to be helpful and just sit in the corner and do nothing. ..nothing but correct their English mistakes :):):) nahh... that'd be evil, and their English is actually pretty good. I'm just frustrated

well, i'll finish this tomorrow. I'm tired. I get to teach the "I have a Dream Speech Tomorrow" woo. peace

Drunken Poet's Society Reprise

2006-01-09T10:04:00.000-05:00

during my "office hours" I got bored and wrote a haiku about the hottest girl alive (who happens to live at the end of my hallway)

Words drop from your lips
Like hot schwäbisch spaghetti
You have a schweet assch

Back in Action

2006-01-09T05:17:00.000-05:00

Today began the first day of class for the Ricarda Huch Schule in 2006. ahhhhh new beginnings [sigh] As tired as I was after staying up until 2 AM to listen to the steelers pummel the bengals, the building neither seemed so large nor did the faculty lounge seem so intimidating as they did back in September. I had an 8th grade class and a 6th grade class today. The students were in good spirits, and the 6th graders actually remembered what the I went over three weeks ago (how much vs. how many, some vs. any). Normally I just sit around and daydream while the real teacher does stuff, so that the students remembered as much as they did pleased me very much.

In 20 minutes I'll take the bus back to the school for my "office hours." Not one student has ever come to my Sprechstunden, but I go there anyways to catch up on reading and putz around. I have to work 12 hours a week at the school, and if I spend two hours doing nothing, then at least I don't feel morally obligated to make them up elsewhere. It is the choice of the students to come, I rationalize, and plus, I'm lazy. Bis nachher

ten things.

2006-01-09T05:14:00.000-05:00

10. remain cool. life is no petting zoo

W.O.D.2

2006-01-08T13:14:00.000-05:00

der Ruhetag

Sundays in Germany are “Ruhetage,” or days of rest. A Ruhetag is a day of contemplation—a day when one considers how he or she will spend the rest of his or her week. Most businesses are closed, traveling is difficult because few buses and trains run, and those who have forgotten to buy groceries on Saturday either starve or eat a Döner (Turkish gyro) from the nearest Döner-stand. A Ruhetag is a day of togetherness. Germans eat together, do yardwork together, maybe wash the car together, go hiking together, or even play boardgames together. Bibliophiles read, lovers stroll, and old people whittle or make fly-fishing lures or do whatever they do. To me, though, a Ruhetag is just another Sunday without American football. A Ruhetag is a major pain in my ass. Go Steelers!

W.O.D.

2006-01-08T09:02:00.000-05:00

das Donaudampfschifffahrtsgesellschaftskapitänskajütentürschloss

schon GEZahlt?

2006-01-07T06:22:00.000-05:00

I finally relented yesterday and started paying taxes on my tv. Despite the fact that I don't pay for cable here, I still have to pay a mandatory 17.06 Eu/month fee to GEZ because I possess a tv. (GEZ, pronounced "gets," stands for Gebuehreneinzugszentrale der Oeffentlich-Rechtlichen Rundfunkanstalten in der Bundesrepublik Deutschland--quite a mouthful)

The underlying principle of GEZ is good. Certain channels like ARD and ZDF are free for everybody, advertisement-free, and actually have good programming. Unlike American-infotainment, these channels also possess a certain amount of journalistic integrity and independence.

What would happen if I didn't pay? Probably nothing. There is a GEZ-man who creeps around pretending to be somebody else and tries to ascertain whether people have tvs, but I haven't encountered such a person yet. (that would be the worst job ever) According to this letter, the penalty is up to 1000 Euros for those who don't register. Better safe than sorry- Vorsicht ist besser als Nachsicht

New Years Fun- Part 2

2006-01-05T18:42:00.000-05:00

I really dug this girl, but I started to get sketched out and wanted to leave. Before this Johann character declared me his mortal enemy and huffed out of the bar, I had already said that I was tired and should probably go home. Caroline had told me to stay just a little while longer and to walk back with her and her friends. I live near the friend’s house where they were staying, and I was still having fun, so I stayed.

(This is becoming too long and drawn-out, so I’ll paraphrase.)

Despite the fact that a third guy came along and started flirting with Caroline somewhat aggressively, not one bit of drama ensued because of this girl. Der Johann did not beat me up, and Caroline, her friends, and I all walked back together. (..although he did silently and threateningly walk behind Caroline and me the whole way back, oh man) At Berliner Platz we hugged and said goodbye before I forked left and they forked right.

At about the same time (from the way he tells the story), Mitch must have just woken up off of the pavement from his New Years nap outside of Uhlenspiegel. The poor guy had been waiting since 3:30 for Bastion and me to go, and we had no idea where he was and had left without him! Oops.

..and finally.

I spent last night in a city called Siegen hanging out with Caro and her friends again. I would so definitely date this girl, but she lives three hours north of Giessen, doh. We will still see each other again sometime during semester break. In the meantime, I guess I will go back to being an idiot every time I run in to the totally hot German girl down the hall.

Life could be worse. (..and I need a hobby, i know :))

2006-01-05T13:18:00.000-05:00

My building has every convenience
It’s gonna make life easy for me
It’s gonna be easy to get things done
I will relax alone with my loved ones
Loved ones, loved ones visit the building,
Take the highway, park and come up and see me
I’ll be working, working but if you come visit
I’ll put down what I’m doing, my friends are important

Don’t you worry ’bout me
I wouldn’t worry about me
Don’t you worry ’bout me
Don’t you worry ’bout me

Talking Heads anyone?

New Years Fun- Part 1

2006-01-04T08:49:00.000-05:00

For those of us who do not have a significant other, New Year’s Day has a tendency to be either totally lame or completely out-of-control. Well, I wasn’t exactly smooching with any young vixens at midnight, but I did have one of the best New Years Day celebrations since I nearly ralphed all over Billy’s dad in Altoona a few years back.

Laura and her boyfriend Sammy from Finland, Vaeko from Estonia, Mitch from the USA, Bastion from Northern Germany, and I commenced celebrating at 6 PM in my kitchen. The plan was to play asshole until 9:30 and then to go into the city. All went smoothly until el presidente Mitch busted out the vodka and indiscriminately made everyone drink every time a ‘6’ was laid onto the table.

At 9:30, the others left, and I called my dad, brother, and a few others to wish them a Happy 2006. An hour later I caught up with the others in small club/bar called Uhlenspiegel. The cover charge was 6 euros, but the bartenders handed out free champagne all night long. The music sucked, but we danced along while weird people kept taking our picture. Vaeko took a million pictures too. At one point I broke a champagne glass in my hand but managed to drink the rest of the alcohol from the glass before resting the pieces on a table.

Without warning, Naughty by Nature was replaced by the countdown from 20 to 1, and then, bam. I don’t ever remember hugging so many random people (or so many dudes) in my life. Bastion then made us all go outside to see the fireworks. At least 150 people had gathered outside on the street to light off fireworks and get some fresh air, and here is where I began to lose track of the others.

I went back inside to dance again and ended up talking with two German dudes. We drank a round of beers before I found the others again. Laura and Sammy were making out, Bastion was putting the moves on some short blonde girl, and Vaeko was still running around taking pictures. I had lost track of Mitch completely. After a while I sat down at a table with one of the German guys whom I had met and 4 or 5 girls. (I believe that his name was Jan, so I’ll just refer to him as that)

I had thought that Jan and the girls were all friends, but I was wrong. As Jan tried to pick up a Japanese exchange student at the head of the table, the others at the table shot him dirty looks and were annoyed. After they discovered that I had only just met Jan, they accepted me into their little circle, and we chitchatted for a while. They were amazed that I could speak their language so well, and I charmingly noted that if they had had as much champagne as I had had, they’d be able to speak any language well.

Well, for whatever reason they didn’t find that comment too creepy, and I ended up chatting with them for the next 3 hours. I still can’t remember how, but somehow a implicit understanding circulated the table that Caroline (Caro) liked me, and I like Caro. Well this “implicit understanding” did not escape Caro’s friend and admirer Johann who stormed outside and declared his intention to beat me up. He was about twice my size, but Caro's friends assured me that I'd be fine, so I forgot about how Johann was standing outside and went back to chatting with Caro and her friends.

…to be continued (I have to go!)

Welcome to my Blog!

2006-01-02T13:17:00.000-05:00

Hello world! Welcome to 2006. Welcome to my blog! After much consideration, I’ve decided to do what many others before me have done and start a blog. Why? Despite the fact that I’m not particularly funny and not a great writer (..more of a careful writer, if anything), I have lots and lots of experiences that deserve the extra attention.

As a very brief introduction, I live in Germany and teach English to German kids for 12-hours a week and also study at the university. I am a typical 22-year-old male, and therefore I am preoccupied with females, good times, and trying to decide what I am going to do with the rest of my life. I should actually be somewhat intelligent, but I always end up doing very unintelligent things. (I try hard not to draw conclusions about that)

For readability, I’ll just make a list of things that I could hypothetically write about at any given time. (I like lists.)

- Being a foreigner
- What German kids are like
- What German girls are like (pit-hair or no pit-hair?)
- What really goes on in the teacher’s lounge
- Why does the principal at my school where leather pants with a sport jacket
- Why does the principal at my school dislike me so much
- Why I am totally head-over-heals in love with the German girl down the hall
- People who live in my hall whom I sometimes lock my door and hide from ..and why
- How to pick up German girls (I know a few tricks, but it’s still sort of impossible)
- How not to pick up German girls (could be one of the longer posts)
- Why I even try to pick up German girls (could be one of the shorter posts)
- How some Germans feel about Americans
- Weekly midlife-crises

As you can see, enough topics exist for me to write about. One of my New Years’ resolutions (besides the German girl down the hall) is also to write more often. And hey, the worst thing that could happen is that no one reads my blog, in which case I’ve started a personal journal. Not a big deal. So I hope I’ve justified myself and my blog.

Without further ado. Enjoy!

Todd